From what I’ve observed, it is very similar to tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique — EMDR stands for “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.” It’s a method of permanently healing PTSD.

What’s incredible to me is that EMDR has been around for some decades and yet, for some reason, not many people have heard of it nor have access to a therapist that knows how to do it, despite its proven effectiveness in healing trauma (keyword healing, not treating):

“Some of the studies show that 84%-90% of single-trauma victims no longer have post-traumatic stress disorder after only three 90-minute sessions. Another study, funded by the HMO Kaiser Permanente, found that 100% of the single-trauma victims and 77% of multiple trauma victims no longer were diagnosed with PTSD after only six 50-minute sessions. In another study, 77% of combat veterans were free of PTSD in 12 sessions” (from the EMDR website).

Having tried conventional talk therapy off and on for over two decades (cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT; psychotherapy; psychiatry), I can finally say that I am permanently healed of my complex PTSD that plagued me for the majority of my life and EMDR is what did it. The PTSD I had was rooted in not being parented, as my biological parents were traumatized children themselves (spiritually/emotionally, not chronologically).

There’s an idea in addiction recovery that even when you’re sober/healed, you should still call yourself an addict– the idea being, one’s shadow work is never completed/that it’s an ongoing active process.

Fuck that shit.

I am not an addict. I am healed. I can say that and know that.

While of course shadow work is never a “completed” process, there are levels to it, and I can say, through choosing to follow Right/Natural Law and through seeing that there’s a wide spectra of difference between where I am now and where I used to be, with Truth, that my childhood traumas no longer haunt me.

Since you can learn to do EMDR to yourself/without a licensed therapist, it makes some sense to me why it wouldn’t be more popular or known as a mentally/spiritually healing technique– if there was a way to heal trauma in a single or handful of session(s), the entire therapy industry would not be sustainable financially– there’s a vested interest in keeping this knowledge hidden.

That’s why I’m sharing my experience now.

I had just had 2 miscarriages. It was the height of the pandemic. Things were shut down. I had also recently lost both my animals (my dog and my bird). And since there’s not a lot of room in our current society for grief surrounding lost pregnancies and pets– or for grief of “immediate” loved ones in general — I was in a very dark place, then.

I was irritable. I was depressed. I felt powerless. And alone. I was afraid of taking showers when it was my period, for fear of seeing my bloody stillbirth baby in the bathtub again. I wasn’t whole.

My therapist, who was trained in using EMDR, offered it to me for our next session. She asked me to think of a safe place to go, in the mean time. Even the safe place imagery that I chose was tainted with a childhood trauma. That’s how fucked up I used to be. I had to really concentrate on imagining/envisioning a safe place. I hope that you, as you read this, have that place in your mind.

On the day of my first (and only) virtual EMDR session, I engaged in butterfly-hug tapping, while being in my safe place. I then, in partnership with my therapist, set an intention of staying connected with my unborn babies. I felt separated from them with their deaths, and lamented not having that connection any longer (I now realize that I’m connected with them always, through the astral, but let’s get to how I came to that realization).

I was back in the bathtub. My baby, a tiny fetus that fit in my palm, floating in the dark bloody water. The gyri and sulci of its brain material, spreading out on the water’s surface like white spaghetti. The pain that I felt, seeing that image. “Crying” doesn’t even begin to describe the magnitude of that pain.

“It’s what I’ve been running from, all this time,” I remember saying.

I tapped myself back into the safe place. My therapist then asked me to go back to that moment and ask the babies what their experience of that moment was like.

What transpired next can only be described as an astral trip/psychic communication. FYI, this entire EMDR process was completely sober. I did not take any exogenous drugs/substances beforehand or during the process.

I was shown the same bloody bathtub scene, only this time, it was as if from above, like a movie. I was reprocessing this experience with my babies’ perspectives. They felt bad for me, and showed me flowers, as if to give flowers back to me, as I had them in this physical reality.

Then, I was shown a glowing ball of light. The light then showed protrusions coming out, like spike proteins on a coronavirus. The false idea of individualization that connects us all, which is killing us.

Then I was shown my life up to this point. It was a square-based pyramid, pointing down, from the top of my head. This was before I later learned of the language of hyperspace. I had been living satanically; I had let Fear govern me. I was not free. I was not sovereign.

Then I was shown the base of the upside-down pyramid– the rectangular base. This pyramid base was a dark grid. Then, a small white/light point in that grid. That was the moment when the sperm and ova that had made up my babies, connected. It was a video on loop– the moment of their conception. That moment was just as real and enduring as any other moment in my/their life, and yet, for some reason, I had fixated on the moment of their death. Both moments were valid and in the Past. All of this was shown to me in the context of the thin, small slice of my life, in a vast, expansive void of existence. I had allowed a single moment on a single small human life to be my dark universe.

I was then shown a different model of light– it was a fractal branching, like a tree. The Tree of Life.

“We are offshoots from that tree.”

I was shown my animals that had passed. We are all connected in that way, regardless of species, all Life. From this point forward in the visions, everything was pointed upward and no longer in black.

I was also shown my ancestors, cloud-faces in a connected cloud in the sky. I downloaded that I was here to Right their Wrongs, to deal with the karmic debts they and I had accumulated.

I felt love and forgiveness for all who came before me, who gave me those debts to repay back to God. It all had led up to this moment of Divine Connection. I felt gratitude for all the hardships I had ever endured, as they were all lessons I had needed to learn.

I also saw my therapist being whisked away with a golden lasso, as if to say that this was a spiritual conversation that didn’t involve her.

I asked how I can stay connected with them, my babies, the Light spiritual envoys of God, and they said, “Close your eyes to see. Listen to the silence.”

I then saw a flame, burning up and out, stardust entropy-ing away from God-Source.

Then, a light spinning in the dark, like a lighthouse.

“I am the lighthouse, the dark nothingness from which the light comes from.”

The individual, egoic “I” does not exist– we shine light on what we look at (double slit experiment).

There were many other images– it’s hard to describe since they were all visual parables, and moved, one after another, quickly.

I also saw a globe– our planet. It was covered with shadow entities. They came towards me when they sensed me watching them.

I felt Fear, again.

But then I realized the Dark hoard of shadows weren’t aware of the Light within themselves.

God is asking us to let that Light within us, that God gave us, shine up and out. It’s fine if you want to worship it, but don’t externalize it– we’re a part of it– we are here to bear witness to this Light in our minds within ourselves, first, and in so doing, to become beacons ourselves to others.

We are not gods ourselves. We are of God.

Let there be Light!

Let there be Right!

Isn’t interesting that, in Korean-accented English, the l/r sound are the same…